The Stars Shine On
by FyreFlyte
Summary: For Jim Kirk, the scars of Tarsus IV won't ever fully fade. But sometimes a fellow survivor and a few close friends can do more than the psychological counselors ever could. A loosely connected series of oneshots. Part Three: Told from Riley's POV. A mission gone wrong, a feverish Jim, and an observant Vulcan.
1. Chapter 1

**The Stars Shine On**

_I have JadeMac2442 and her _amazing_ stories to thank for my sudden plunge into the world of Star Trek 2009. I discovered the movie at the same I discovered her fanfiction (about six months ago), and the rest, as they say, was history. I didn't see it coming. I just collected the fandom._

_This is my first foray into Star Trek fanfiction. I'm much more familiar with the reboot universe than I am with TOS, so if I write something rather ignorant…well, let's just say I'm asking for forgiveness in advance._

_Special thanks to Watercolors2 for inspiring me to get my act together and write something. It's been a while since I've written for any fandom (though not for lack of trying), so I'm cautiously excited about this. Yay._

_And of course, I do not own Star Trek. If I did then the sequel movie would have come out last year._

* * *

"Captain, the roster for the new crew members just arrived from Starfleet." Jim Kirk shifted and glanced up from the PADD he was reviewing to address his Communications Officer.

"Send it here, please, Lieutenant," he said, giving her a wink as he turned back to his report. She rolled her eyes, but there was a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

In the year since the _Enterprise_ had left for its five-year mission, the Command Crew had become a sort of family. It was a friendship forged through a combination of life-or-death situations and long periods of relatively boring space travel, the result of which was that everyone on the bridge had great respect and affection for one another. The winks Jim repeatedly sent Uhura were no longer flirtatious, but inside jokes. Bones called Spock a green-blooded hobgoblin as often as he called Jim an idiot. (Spock had long ago given up pointing out that hobgoblins did not actually exist.) Away teams beamed down to simple diplomatic meetings in full body armor, which usually saved a redshirt's life. The _Enterprise_ family was the youngest and most experienced group in Starfleet, mostly because they knew that they should always expect something bizarre or life-threatening to happen.

But Kirk had never anticipated this.

He was in the middle of taking a gulp of coffee when he read the name on the list. The bridge crew looked up in alarm as their Captain choked and promptly went into a violent coughing fit.

"Are you alright, sir?" Sulu asked, a half-amused smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. Drinking coffee on the bridge always invited the risk of swallowing the wrong way, but their captain insisted on doing it anyway. Jim just coughed again, his mind reeling.

_Kevin Riley_.

He felt cold. He hadn't come across that name since…well, since he'd left Tarsus IV. That was years ago. Seeing a familiar name shouldn't make him feel like he'd just lost the pit of his stomach. It wasn't even the same Kevin. Jim was pretty sure Kev had died on Tarsus just before Starfleet arrived. Along with most of his other kids.

"I'm fine, Mr. Sulu," he managed, summoning a weak smile and promptly turning his attention back to his PADD. He closed the list of crew members without reading the rest of the names, trying to fight the sudden hollow feeling in his chest. He hadn't thought of Tarsus in months, dammit. It had been even longer since he'd felt this much pain when thinking of his kids. He'd thought he was getting better. The last time he'd ached this much was at the memorial ceremony for the genocide of Vulcan, which had hit a little too close to home.

"Captain," Uhura said again, and Jim forcefully pulled himself together. "You have an incoming transmission from Starfleet, classified."

"You mean we get to deal with another dangerous, one-of-a-kind, extremely important diplomatic mission?" Jim joked half-heartedly, because honestly, that was the only time Starfleet wanted to talk to him on a classified channel. He had the feeling that most of the Admirals didn't quite know what to do with him. Except for Pike, anyway.

"Very funny, Captain," Uhura said, ignoring him as usual. "I'm sending it to your ready room."

"Commander Spock, you're with me," Kirk said, getting up from his chair. "Sulu, you have the conn."

"Actually, Captain, the transmission's from Admiral Pike. He wants to speak with you alone," Uhura clarified. Spock, who had been about to stand up from the science station, shot her a curious look. Jim shrugged, fighting sudden apprehension. He hoped he wasn't about to get a dressing down for their last mission. He'd explained quite clearly in his report that there'd been no way to know their relations with the natives had been compromised. Not even Uhura had picked up on the fact that they thought blue-eyed people were cursed, and she was the best Communications Officer in the fleet.

"Alright, then. Mr. Spock, you have the conn."

Christopher Pike was on the screen when Kirk walked in. He didn't speak until Jim shut the door to the ready room and gave the security code for their conversation to go off-record.

"Sit down, Jim, this isn't a formal meeting," Pike said warmly when Kirk stood at attention. Jim relaxed and plopped down into the nearest seat, slightly confused.

"So I'm not getting a formal reprimand?" he asked jokingly. Pike looked at him in alarm.

"Were you expecting one?" he asked suspiciously. Jim grinned and winked.

"Of course not, sir."

Pike sighed and let the comment pass without questioning it.

"Actually, no, you're not in trouble. This has to do with one of the new crew-members you're going to pick up tomorrow. One of them's got some highly classified information in his file that the Admiralty feels you need to be aware of."

Jim felt a cold knot of tension start to form in his stomach. He desperately hoped this wasn't going where he thought it was going.

"I, ah – didn't get to read the whole list of people we're picking up tomorrow," he managed, fighting to keep his voice steady. His palms were starting to sweat. _Fuck. _He had a strange feeling about this.

"There's a Lieutenant Kevin Riley that's going to serve in the communications department," Pike informed him. "He is one of the Tarsus Eight – one of the eight survivors of the Tarsus massacre who can identify the governor Kodos. You're familiar with the Tarsus massacre, I assume. It's covered in all the cadet Morality and Ethics classes."

Someone had sucked all the air out of the room and sucked Jim's heart into his mouth in the process. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't have heard Pike correctly. It wasn't possible. _Kev. _He'd thought Kevin was dead. He didn't know which of his kids had made it, if any of them had made it. _Kevin_.

"Jim, are you alright?" Pike asked sharply. Kirk started, suddenly very aware that he probably looked like he'd just been punched in the gut.

"I – ah…I know about Tarsus," he stuttered lamely. Pike seemed to think this was an appropriate response, and nodded.

"Obviously this is a very delicate subject. Lieutenant Riley's status as a survivor is public, if not well-known, but his status as one of the Tarsus Eight" – _Tarsus Nine_, Jim thought – "is highly classified information. Needless to say, in the event that governor Kodos ever comes to trial, Riley's testimony would be vital evidence. Starfleet Command wants you to remember this if and when you assign him on away missions. It would not be…wise to put him on high-risk assignments, if it can be avoided."

Jim just sat there, mind reeling. He needed to get out.

"You don't want to risk his life…so you let him get assigned to the _Enterprise_?" Kirk asked, trying and failing to inject some humor into his voice. He sounded slightly hysterical and not a little incredulous. Pike looked at him in some surprise.

"There's always risk involved in Starfleet," he said, looking at Jim curiously. "We're not trying to prevent him from doing what he wants to do. We just want you to be aware of his situation – he shouldn't be assigned on high-risk missions if it isn't necessary."

"Are you saying that I have preferences when I put together away teams?" Jim asked, sudden anger surging to the surface. "That I don't care if certain people die? That I put 'expendables' on high-risk missions because other crewmembers are more important? That's bullshit, Admiral." He didn't know where his sudden vehemence was coming from. He was still in shock. "No one's life is more important than someone else's. You can't put a value on that, not now, not ever. Wasn't that what Kodos tried to do? He said some people were more valuable than others, and he was just plain fucking _wrong_."

Pike stared at him in undisguised surprise and concern. Jim realized that he'd somehow stood up from his chair and clenched his hands into fists. He blinked and took a steadying breath. _Damn_. Twelve years later, and he still couldn't handle reminders of Tarsus. But he was Captain James T. Kirk and he was not going to fall apart, especially not in front of a Starfleet Admiral. Even if it was Pike. He slowly sank back into his chair, rubbing his temples against a sudden headache.

"Sorry," he muttered lamely, not looking Pike in the eyes. "I know that's not what you meant."

"No harm done," Pike said placatingly, but he continued to study Jim with sharp eyes. He hesitated. "Are you feeling alright, Jim?"

"I'm fine," Kirk replied automatically. A bit too quickly. _Damn._ "I mean, I just had my annual check-up yesterday. You can ask Bones about it."

"I believe you," Pike said, but he clearly did not. There was a bit of an awkward silence before Pike sighed. "If you need advice about how to handle this situation, I'm available on my private comm channel," he said, and despite the situation, Pike's offer warmed Jim a little. Not that he would actually ever talk to anyone about Tarsus, but the sentiment was appreciated.

"Thanks," he said, offering Pike a half-hearted smile. "I've got to get back to the bridge, but I'll talk to you later."

"No doubt," Pike said dryly. He'd been forced to deliver too many official and unofficial reprimands to Jim in the past year. Jim merely winked.

"I aim to please," he said teasingly, and signed out to Pike's long-suffering sigh. The moment the screen went dark, he slumped in his chair and buried his head in his hands. He felt like his entire world had just been tipped upside down.

Kevin Riley was alive.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Thanks for the reviews, story alerts, and favorites! I'm so glad there are people enjoying this story. :)**_

_**Unfortunately, I have not yet managed to get a hold of the rights to Star Trek and Jim Kirk. Curses.**_

* * *

Their meeting was a complete accident.

It was just over a month since Kevin Riley had come on board the _Enterprise_. Uncharacteristically, Jim had not shown up to meet the newest members of his crew when they had come aboard, instead scheduling a meeting with Yeoman Rand at the same time. If any of the regular crew had been confused over this, they'd said nothing, and the incident passed.

Jim felt badly about it, of course – he thought it was important for a captain to know each and every one of his crew members – but he wasn't ready to face Kevin Riley yet. He couldn't. Twelve years, and the last time they'd seen each other, Jim had been near death and Kevin had been a starving, terrified six-year-old.

Until, that is, Lieutenant Kevin Riley came running onto the bridge in the middle of a Klingon attack.

Negotiations with a planet looking to join the Federation had broken down when the _Enterprise_ crew discovered that the opposing faction was actually aligned with hostile Klingons. A Klingon ship, hiding on the planet's opposite side under a cloaking device, attacked while most of the regular bridge crew was planetside for the negotiations. The bridge of the _Enterprise_ took a direct hit before the shields went up, and the transporter room exploded into chaos as the away team beamed back to a crisis.

Kirk and Uhura were sprinting to the bridge together when the _Enterprise_ pitched violently to one side. Kirk slammed into the wall and Uhura skidded into him, banging her head hard on an access panel in the process. Jim caught her as she slid bonelessly to the floor. His best Communications Officer was out cold in the middle of a diplomatic crisis. _Damn_.

Kirk slapped a hand to the access panel.

"This is Captain Kirk requesting medical personnel outside the transporter room. I need someone from communications on the bridge now. Kirk out." He gently propped Uhura against a wall – she was just unconscious, not in life-threatening danger – snapped at a passing ensign to watch her until medical arrived, and continued his sprint to the bridge.

The panels of the science station were smoking when he arrived, and the red alert lights were flashing. Spock, stoic as always in the face of dramatic situations, turned towards him and frowned slightly when he did not see Uhura.

"She'll be fine, she's just concussed," Kirk said, skidding into his chair. "Sulu, continue evasive maneuvers. Chekov, get me a run down on the Klingons and tell me what sort of shield strength we're dealing with." He slapped the button on his chair. "Scotty, what's the damage?"

"She'll pull through, Captain!" came the breathless Scottish voice over the comm system. "Shields are strong and weapons are fully functional."

"Good. Spock, I need your help in communications. Try to hail the Klingon ship. Get someone to send a message to Starfleet and tell them negotiations are postponed until further notice. I also want a direct line to the security force on planet – I don't want any of our prisoners escaping."

The _Enterprise_ rocked as she took another hit from a sudden outpouring of firepower from the Klingon ship. Sulu cursed and then spun them around to avoid a second volley of fire. Kirk guessed that the Klingons were starting to get desperate.

"Chekov, what've you got?" Kirk asked.

"Eet ees just one ship, sir," Chekov said in a rush, practically vibrating in his seat. "I theenk – yes, I've got eet! Zey do not have very strong shields. One more round should take zem out."

"Did you get that, Mr. Scott?" Kirk asked, slapping the comm panel again.

"Aye, sir, working on it!"

At that moment, the lift doors opened and the replacement for Uhura rushed onto the bridge. Kirk spun to give out orders and suddenly found the words stuck in his throat.

He didn't know Lieutenant Kevin Riley. But he did know Kev – and Kev knew him – in all the ways that only truly desperate people knew each other. This young man, twelve years older than Jim remembered him, was undoubtedly the same starving child he'd rescued on Tarsus IV. It was in his eyes. In the heat of a crisis, they were lit up with the same strange light only a survivor would recognize. Kev, like Jim, understood life-or-death situations better than anyone their ages ought to.

For a single instant, their eyes met. Lieutenant Riley's face drained of all color.

"Captain, ze shields are down!"

It was like coming out of a fog. Jim's autopilot mode took control as he reeled internally, trying to suppress a sudden surge of memories and emotion. _Kev. Kev. Kev._

Days and weeks later, he still wouldn't be able to remember how he handled the Klingon crisis. All he knew was that somehow – minutes, possibly hours later – the Klingons and hostile forces from the planet were secured in the brig, and the _Enterprise_ was headed for a Starbase. He didn't even know which one. The bridge crew breathed a collective sigh of relief as the _Enterprise _slipped into warp speed.

Except for Jim, that is. And Kevin Riley, who sat quietly working in Uhura's chair, his shoulders tense and back ramrod straight.

Kirk felt frozen to his seat. Kevin knew who he was. He must. They'd looked right at each other. But Kevin didn't say anything – he wasn't even looking at the captain, instead focusing intently on the communications station.

A sudden sick feeling stole over Kirk.

It occurred to him that Kevin might not share Jim's feelings of elation and pain. Kev might be bitter towards JT. It had, after all, been twelve years of no contact whatsoever. Kirk felt suddenly guilty. They should have met each other before this – hell, even just talked to each other before this. The universe wasn't that big.

The _Enterprise_ definitely wasn't that big.

True, Jim had thought Kevin had died on Tarsus, but apart from one bitter day in the week after he'd been released from the hospital, Jim really hadn't made an effort to try to locate any of the Tarsus survivors. In fact, Kirk had gone through great pains to try and erase his presence on Tarsus from all the Starfleet records. At the time, forgetting about Tarsus had seemed the best way to deal with the trauma it left behind.

Maybe Kevin had tried to find _him_, though. Maybe Kevin had thought _he_ was dead.

Fuck. What if Kevin was…angry with him for not bringing this up months ago?

Jim didn't know if he could handle that. He deserved Kevin's anger, god did he know he deserved it, but a painful and quiet part of him longed for Kev's friendship. They hadn't had much on Tarsus, but they'd had each other. Even if Jim was responsible for some of his kids' suffering.

"Lieutenant," he tried, and his voice cracked. Despite the fact that Jim hadn't said his name, Riley looked up quickly from the communications station, his face carefully blank. Kirk squashed the nervous butterflies that suddenly took up residence in his stomach. He needed to deal with this now, or he would never deal with it at all – and Kevin, at least, deserved better than that. "May I have a word with you in my ready room?"

Riley nodded and stood up from the communications station. Kirk ignored the curious glances of the bridge crew as he and Kevin went into the ready room. Jim shut the door and gave the code to temporarily disable the security cameras and recording devices.

"You're JT." Kevin gripped the back of a chair, a strange expression on his face, and stared at Kirk intently. Jim swallowed, his mouth dry.

"Yeah," he croaked out. "I…you're – I thought you'd died, Kev. I couldn't find you."

"Me either," Kevin whispered.

They stared at each other. The memories hung thickly between them, wrapping them in the bonds of a shared horror. For a moment, Jim felt overwhelmed by the sheer enormity of what lay between them. Twelve fucking years. It felt like yesterday.

"JT," Kevin breathed. He reached out and gently touched Kirk's arm. Jim looked up and was startled to see a hint of wetness in Kevin's eyes. "You made it."

Jim's hands shook. Kevin didn't look angry. He didn't look disgusted. He just looked…relieved. Happy, even.

"I didn't know," Jim choked. "I thought…how many?" The question slipped out before he could control it. He had to know. He half-hoped Kevin wouldn't have the answer.

"The rest of us made it," Kevin said quietly, gripping Jim's arms. "Even Anya, but it was close. All sixteen of us got rescued. But we thought…" he faltered briefly. "We thought Kodos killed you."

Jim made a strangled gasping sound. _All sixteen. _He felt suddenly lightheaded. He hadn't failed them. They'd all made it. Dimly, he realized that Kevin had guided him into one of the chairs. His eyes were wet – from relief or shock or happiness, he didn't know.

"All sixteen," Jim mumbled, looking up at Kevin in a daze. "I didn't know."

And for the first time in twelve years, Kevin Riley and Jim Kirk embraced each other, clinging like they would never let go. Kirk clutched Kev to him and felt that small, painful, quiet place inside him slowly ease. Tarsus would always hurt, on some level. But for the first time, he could think of it and feel something other than pain. It felt like…hope.

* * *

_**Reviews are motivation. :)**_


	3. Chapter 3

Kevin Riley hated dark, cold, wet places. They reminded him too much of a certain cave on Tarsus IV, JT's miserable sanctuary that had been home – albeit a very dangerous one – for three months when he was six years old. Kevin always associated caves with death and starvation and the end of childhood innocence, so it was rather understandable that he was extremely agitated to be stuck inside a cave now.

Yet another _Enterprise _diplomatic mission had taken a turn for the worst. Riley had only been serving under Captain Kirk for a year, but he was already starting to notice a pattern. Routine missions were never simple, low-risk missions were always dangerous, and dangerous missions – which this one had actually qualified for at the start – were basically death traps. The planet they were on had been in a state of civil war for years, so Kevin half-expected from the start that the negotiations the _Enterprise_ had been sent to oversee would break down.

He had not, however, expected the away team to be taken hostage. Which really just showed how much he still had to learn.

The away team consisted of Riley, Captain Kirk, Commander Spock, and Doctor McCoy. It was Kevin's first diplomatic mission, but he hadn't originally been part of the team. Kirk had wanted to take Uhura and a small security force, but Doctor McCoy, upon reading the mission brief, had insisted on accompanying the captain to the surface. Commander Spock had also insisted that he be included, citing a string of statistics from past missions which indicated that the security team likely wouldn't survive the mission. Kirk had then put his foot down on taking Uhura, refusing to remove four of the senior commanding officers from the ship at once, and Uhura herself insisted that she needed to remain on the _Enterprise. _Apparently she felt her negotiation skills would be the most helpful in getting the away team out of whatever crisis it walked into on planet.

She was right, of course.

So that meant Riley had been the one to beam down with the team. When negotiations broke apart and the four of them were taken hostage, Kirk had kept their captors' attention away from the rest of them. Kevin recognized JT in the way Kirk's eyes took on a hard glint, in the way he'd thrown himself into danger to keep Riley, Spock, and McCoy safe. It made Kevin feel sick.

Commander Spock, with Kevin's helped, engineered an escape plan. When their captors returned Kirk to the cell, beaten, bruised, and unconscious, they'd made their bid for freedom. McCoy managed to get a communicator off one of the guards, and the four of them ran until they found a cave a few miles outside the city. They'd been there for about an hour.

Spock sat near the mouth of the cave to keep watch. Riley re-programmed the communicator to send out a distress signal (in the years after Tarsus, he'd made it a point to learn odd survival skills), and McCoy was currently working to make a feverish Jim more comfortable. They just had to wait for the _Enterprise_ to find them.

"Lieutenant." Kevin started from his reverie. Commander Spock stood in front of him, his face a mask of Vulcan calm. "It would be beneficial for you to seek rest at this time. I will wake you if our situation changes."

"Oh." Kevin blinked. He knew that some of the bridge crew – like Kirk and Uhura – could usually decipher Spock's feelings even when the Vulcan didn't show them. Riley hadn't quite gotten the hang of that yet. "Uh, yes sir. I'll try."

He curled up on the cave floor, knowing he wouldn't truly drift off. He couldn't possibly sleep in a situation like this, but his body did need rest. He should probably try to at least relax while he had the opportunity – Commander Spock was right about that. He closed his eyes…

"God_dammit_, Jim!"

Riley startled awake to the doctor's curse, disoriented and confused. It took him a second to remember why he was sleeping in a cave. When he did, he scrambled upright and looked around in alarm. Doctor McCoy and Commander Spock were trying to hold down the captain. Kirk thrashed underneath them in feverish delirium, his breaths coming fast and harsh in the tiny space.

Kevin's mind flashed unpleasantly to a cave from long ago, when JT had come back from a food raid with a high fever. He had been soaking wet and shivering from the thunderstorm outside, his clothes hanging in useless tatters off his skeletal frame. Tom had stripped JT out of his clothes and tried to use body heat to warm him back up. Kevin remembered spending the night curled around JT's too-warm, too-thin chest. That had only been one week before Kodos's men captured both him and JT, just days before Starfleet arrived.

"Get off!" Kevin started badly at the weak shout, shaking his head fiercely to clear the memory. Doctor McCoy growled in frustration as Jim wrenched one arm free and tried to punch Spock in the face. The Vulcan ducked at the last second.

"Jim! You have to calm down, dammit!" the doctor said forcefully, re-pinning Kirk's flailing arm with a grunt of effort. "You're safe. The _Enterprise_ should beam us back up within the next two hours. You've got to stop moving, okay? You're going to puncture a lung." Riley edged closer and saw that Jim's eyes were open and glassy, staring at McCoy with a mixture of pain and confusion.

Riley flinched. He knew that expression all too well.

"No," Kirk said breathlessly. He didn't seem to understand anything McCoy was saying. "Bones, we have to go. They found us."

"What?" McCoy asked, looking at Jim with concern. "Yeah, I know that. The _Enterprise_ is on its way. Just stay still until they get here, alright?"

"They found us." Kirk repeated. He sounded…terrified. A horrible suspicion began to form in the back of Kevin's mind. McCoy frowned.

"Yeah, kid, I told you they found us. Hold _still_, dammit."

"No!" Kirk's sudden cry startled the doctor, and McCoy lost his grip on Jim's arms. Jim thrashed frantically on the floor, dislodged Spock, and somehow managed to haul himself into a seated position. Kevin's breath caught in his throat. Kirk's eyes were wild, his expression fierce in a way Riley, with an unpleasant jolt, recognized all too well. "He should take me!" Kirk cried out forcefully. "You have to let him take me. Get out of here!"

"What the hell, Jim?" McCoy said in exasperation, inching slowly forward. "Are you trying to give yourself permanent damage?" Kirk shrank back and closed his eyes, his expression fierce but resigned. Riley remembered that expression – Jim had worn it every time they'd lost someone. He'd allowed himself that small sign of pain before putting on the mask his kids had needed.

"Stop," Kevin said suddenly. McCoy turned to look at him incredulously. Spock raised an eyebrow. "I think…let me try something."

McCoy barely refrained from rolling his eyes.

"Look kid," he snapped. "We don't have time for theories here; he needs to lie back down before those ribs shift any farther. If you want to help, try to get in touch with the _Enterprise_ again and find out what the hell's keeping them from beaming us up."

Riley opened his mouth to respond, but Kirk beat him to it.

"Kev," he whispered. All eyes immediately snapped back to Jim. He'd backed up against the wall and was huddled against it, his blue eyes fixed on Kevin. Riley swallowed, suddenly nervous.

"Yeah, JT?" he whispered back. He started to inch slowly towards Kirk as he talked, hands down in a non-threatening manner. He ignored the surprised look on McCoy's face.

"You have to go," Kirk said pleadingly, looking up at Kevin with tired eyes. "You have to stay safe. Listen to Tom." Kevin took a deep breath.

"JT," he said calmly, slowly lowering himself to sit in front of Kirk, "Everyone's safe. I promise."

Kirk frowned.

"But Kodos found us. He's coming." Jim's breath hitched. "He wants me. You have to go, Kev."

"No," Kevin said firmly, scooting a bit closer so he could look Kirk right in the eyes. "Kodos didn't find us. He can't find us anymore. You're going to be safe, I swear."

Kirk seemed to struggle with that information for a moment.

"But it's not safe," he whispered finally. He looked suddenly haggard. "It's never safe. I had to use the phaser to get rid of one of them." He turned frantic eyes on Kevin. "I didn't want to, I didn't – I'm not even sure if he saw me – but if he'd reported anything Kodos would have found us. And I can't let that happen. I can't. I'm sorry." He twisted his hands through his hair and made a strangled noise. "It's not safe, Kev."

Riley's stomach twisted. He reached out and laid a careful hand on Kirk's shoulder, fighting a sudden surge of emotion. He remembered the terror of Tarsus IV, but he'd only been six years old. He hadn't been the one in charge of their group of kids, and sometimes he'd been too young to really comprehend what was happening. JT had always been the one who faced the danger – the one who'd had to make the decisions no one else wanted to make.

"I know, JT. It's alright," he managed quietly. He moved until he was sitting right next to Kirk, keeping his hand on Jim's shoulder. "But Kodos isn't coming. I promise."

Jim just looked at Kevin wearily.

"Go to sleep," Riley suggested. He carefully slid one arm around Jim's shoulders. They'd slept like this on Tarsus, all of them huddled together. It was the only way to keep warm. And it also ensured that they could wake each other up and communicate in silence, if it was ever necessary. On occasion it had been.

Kirk just blinked. Then he put his head down on Riley's shoulder and let his eyes slip closed. Kevin waited a few moments, holding his breath, but Kirk's breathing eventually eased until he was clearly sound asleep.

McCoy sat down right in front of Riley, a strange expression on his face.

"Okay," he demanded in a low voice, "What the hell is going on? You've known Jim for what, less than a year? He never trusts people that quickly."

Riley swallowed down the sudden nerves in his throat. McCoy was right about that – Jim didn't trust people quickly. He never had, even before Tarsus, but Tarsus had made it worse. And if McCoy didn't already know about Jim's childhood nightmare, then Kevin sure as hell wasn't going to break JT's trust by filling the doctor in. That was Kirk's story to tell.

"Lieutenant Riley." Spock joined McCoy on the floor, his eyes lingering briefly on Jim's sleeping form. Kevin thought he saw a hint of concern in the Vulcan's eyes, but he blinked and it was gone. "Based on the captain's reaction to your presence here, am I correct in assuming that you were acquainted with him before you were assigned to the _Enterprise_?"

Damn. He couldn't really answer that without inviting more questions.

"We…knew each other a long time ago," he said carefully, unconsciously tightening his grip on Jim's arm. "We didn't know each other well –" but it hadn't mattered, they knew each other in ways no one else ever would – "and after we lost contact, I didn't see him again until I was assigned to the _Enterprise_."

McCoy narrowed his eyes suspiciously at them. Kevin straightened a little under the scrutiny. He wasn't giving anything else away, and that was that.

"If I may ask, Lieutenant…" Spock interjected thoughtfully, "When was it that you met the captain? I was not aware that you grew up in Iowa."

"I didn't," Kevin said without thinking, and then cursed himself for giving away that clue. Time to shut the doors. "And I'm sorry, but you have to ask JT. It's not my story to tell."

"JT," McCoy muttered to himself, still staring at Jim with that strange expression, and Kevin almost slapped himself for his own stupidity. He definitely needed to shut his mouth. "He never lets anyone call him anything except 'Jim' or 'Kirk,'" McCoy continued. "I've never heard JT before."

"You have to ask him," Riley insisted. McCoy looked up at Kevin and opened his mouth, but just then the communicator on the floor beeped. The next second, the cave dissolved around them and Kevin found himself blinking in the bright lights of the _Enterprise_'s transporter room – and looking right into the eyes of a fully-equipped, Doctor-McCoy-trained medical team.

"Careful!" McCoy snapped as the team promptly descended on Kirk, who was still unconscious in Kevin's arms. "He's got broken ribs and a fever. Someone get some fluids into him and hand me that hypospray!"

Kevin watched with a slight sense of loss as the team loaded Kirk onto a gurney and hauled him away. He knew JT was in good hands, but the small, Tarsus part of him felt uneasy at having his friend practically ripped from his arms. Riley shook his head, dislodging the thought. It was only when he got to his feet that he realized Commander Spock had not left the room.

"Er…did you need something from me, sir?" Kevin asked uncertainly. The Vulcan's expression remained neutral, but his eyes were strangely bright. Spock stepped closer to Riley, hesitated, and seemed to make up his mind.

"I am aware of your status as a survivor of the Tarsus massacre," he said quietly.

Kevin froze. He'd figured it out. Damn, but the Vulcan was smart. JT hadn't wanted anyone to know.

"You have my word that I will keep my suspicions to myself. I will not betray the captain's confidence."

Kevin just nodded uncertainly, not trusting himself to meet his commanding officer's eyes.

"Thanks," he managed. His voice cracked at the end of the word. The Vulcan merely dipped his head in acknowledgement and quietly left the room.

Someone other than Riley knew that Kirk was on Tarsus IV. If it had been anyone else, Kevin might have panicked. But…this was Commander Spock. Kirk trusted the Vulcan, and Riley trusted Kirk. Spock wasn't going to run to the media or spread the story around the _Enterprise_. The Vulcan…cared too much about Kirk to even consider that. He cared enough to stay quiet and trust that someday, Jim would tell him about Tarsus on his own terms.

Riley felt a small smile tug at the corners of his mouth as he left the transporter room. For the first time, a non-survivor's knowledge about Tarsus hadn't left him feeling violated. In fact, it felt almost…relieving.

It felt like family.

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